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Andy Borowitz: Hillary, Obama Get a Room
Candidates Bow to Request of Debate Viewers

By: Andy Borowitz

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After two hours of a televised debate that many pundits characterized as a love-fest, Democratic presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton confirmed today that they have gotten a room.

Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton secured a room at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel, conveniently located near the Kodak Theater where the CNN debate took place.

The extraordinary announcement came on the heels of a request made by millions of television viewers, who emailed CNN last night urging the Democratic rivals to get a room.

In a joint statement released by Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama this morning, the two presidential contenders said, "We have heard the voters loud and clear, asking us to get a room - and we have gotten that room."

After the couple released a photo of themselves in fluffy white hotel bathrobes, there was a palpable sense of relief in Democratic circles that the two senators had in fact gotten a room.

"It was a little uncomfortable watching the two of them up there together, barely keeping their hands off each other," said DNC chairman Howard Dean. "The sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife."

As news spread of the candidates' decision to get a room, pundits speculated about what role former President Bill Clinton might play in such a room.

"I don't see him playing a role there," said Hillary biographer Carl Bernstein. "I think Bill Clinton respects the right of someone to get a room."

Elsewhere, advisors to G.O.P frontrunner John McCain have urged him to stop speaking in that spooky voice.

Andy Borowitz writes a humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is the author of a new book, The Republican Playbook.

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