Op-Ed
Andy Borowitz | BP Replaces Tony Hayward with Startled Deer
Author: Andy Borowitz
Published on Jul 27, 2010 - 1:04:02 PM

LONDON (The Borowitz Report) – Carrying through on its pledge to install fresh leadership at the top of the company, BP today replaced embattled CEO Tony Hayward with a startled deer.

Bucky, the red deer selected to take the helm at BP, is believed to be the first woodland creature ever to run a multinational corporation.

In his first appearance before reporters in London, however, the antlered executive garnered mixed reviews for what some observers said was an unsteady performance.

Appearing frightened by the TV lights, Bucky kicked over the podium and then pranced down the hall before being subdued by a tranquilizer dart.

"Clearly he's a little rough around the edges," said BP board chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg. "But he still did better than Tony."

Elsewhere, Apple unveiled a new iPhone app that translates Fox News into news.


Andy Borowitz writes a humor column at www.borowitzreport.com and is the author of a new book, Who Moved My Soap?: The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition.

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